https://www.wanderbetween.com/blog-2-1 daily 0.75 2025-09-19 https://www.wanderbetween.com/blog-2-1/we-must-be-the-orchestrators-of-our-own-becoming monthly 0.5 2025-09-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/6471112c-f75d-48e0-95ff-de5ae15091ae/mapmaker.png Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - It seems so simple and yet it is EVERYTHING. It begins in flashes of insight - a realization that there’s something missing. A brief awakening before you fall back into the peaceful darkness of sleep. A dream of a life you can’t remember. A taste of something you can't quite name. A mirage that entices as it burns away the idea of what life is and yet it just isn’t adding up. You’re waiting for something to click into place. It’s on the tip of your tongue, that nameless thing you’ve just forgotten for a moment. You’re in a waking dream, but you can’t remember which way is up. You feel like you’ve got some agency here, but you’ve forgotten how to use your own power. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/44c60565-4fbc-433e-91f3-ecdcbb1faacc/The+Dragon.jpg Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - It turns out I am the dragon. I consume myself and create myself day after day. I am learning who I am and creating who I am. I speak myself into existence as I realize the power of my own voice, my own intention. I weave the spell of myself. I sow the seeds of my own existence. I am constantly creating who I will be. Am I tainted by everything around me, everything I was before I understood what it meant, or is it all part of the journey? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/771c6541-61b6-43d9-a10f-cbec18ada1e4/Cycles+within+Cycles.jpg Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - It’s tempting to judge our journey, criticizing ourselves for not being past this or that, not being more evolved, not being our best selves - but with each trial you discover some new detail of yourself, some new facet of life. No wonder the spiral was sacred, you go deeper with each turn, you come up for air to see the bigger picture and then delve back into the micro of it all again. What you avoid looking at, you’ll come face to face with inside the spiral, slowly but surely you’ll heal with each new turn. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/82481835-d1a0-4a9e-aa18-62d662fd08aa/InCollage_20250416_151102997+-+crop.jpg Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/48bfd72e-5a1a-406d-a1ad-f93328dd7984/Find+a+way+to+forgive+yourself.png Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - And so my “good girl” conditioning took root. Maybe if I was “good” from here on out, I’d be ok. Maybe if I was “good” from here on out, I wouldn’t feel that way ever again. Maybe if I judged all the “bad” people it would make me even better … I became “good” and homophobic and anti-everything that wasn’t Southern-Baptist “Christian.” And yet, something was missing, something didn’t add up. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/ebb4161a-668b-4e9f-a6ea-a6884ebc60ee/Unravel.jpg Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - And thus, in my mid-20s I came back to meditation. A dropping in, a letting go of the chaos around me, a setting of intention, zooming all the way into one moment, one mantra, one heartbeat, the stream of energy through my body, a rooting into the earth, a sprouting into the sky on an exhaled breath, following a breeze all the way to outer space and floating with eternity. With the setting of an intention to free myself I became the orchestrator of my own becoming. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/66a99b42-18e9-4633-95ad-01de93d3727f/InCollage_20250919_152221805.jpg Blog - We must be the Orchestrators of our own Becoming - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.wanderbetween.com/blog-2-1/wandering-the-in-between monthly 0.5 2025-09-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/e442fee9-015a-402a-9215-8ac93ffcbccc/InCollage_20220626_085009616.jpg Blog - Wandering The In-between - This pattern continued into college, I worked and studied and had roommates who were friends, but didn’t go party with any of my college peers. I opted instead to join the “adults” at salsa socials and off-campus pick up volleyball. I dated toxic men who were well outside of their college years. I honestly just wanted to get out of the world of tests and homework https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/a705af52-7bdb-44e2-a4ee-2c5f15050eeb/1000025261.jpg Blog - Wandering The In-between - Now, into my mid-30s I see that this trend has continued. I work, I come home, I create, I spend a bit too much money and drink a bit too much wine. And none of it really feels like “home.” Something inside needs to be let out. I have a job that doesn't inspire me, a house with more space than I need filled with “things” I’ve collected to distract me from the disconnect I'm feeling. I've gone back to school seeking more direction and hoping for new doors. And now I’m trying out side-hustles (and starting this blog) hoping to gain a bit more freedom from the 9-5. I’ve reached the age where it’s all about dating to find a husband because my clock is ticking while my boyfriend and I ponder whether or not we really want to have kids at all. Part of me just wants the sand to run out so at least I don’t have to think about that option anymore, after all I’m considered “geriatric” by OB standards anyways ... https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68793fd1f2532938aa05a2a8/d57a4f4d-d20a-4195-82ad-626d2a729204/2018-02-02-16-57-37.jpg Blog - Wandering The In-between - I’m taking the liminal spaces life provides and cultivating something beautiful from it all, building a life out of it. I’m writing and creating in order to discover myself and my connection to the world around me. I am finding my edges and my limits to help to define myself. I’m digging up my roots, clearing off the decay and planting myself anew. I am becoming whoever the fuck I please. I’ve decided my purpose here is just to experience what life offers, to experience my humanity both comfortable and uncomfortable, to build a self out of it, build a life out of it. I’m here discovering my edges, discovering my center, discovering everything in-between. 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